A day in the life of an American Soldier. The personal passages of everything from family life to war.

A day in the life of an American Soldier.


American Soldier says,

This will be an ongoing story of a group of soldiers serving in Iraq. The names, places and at times the events will be modified to protect identity and OPSEC.

0645
The soldiers all gathered in the usual meeting spot to receive their pre-mission briefing. They called it the poop meet. SFC Goslin, the platoon sergeant took the floor and began with the days contact report. Detailing the encounters with the enemy, who got killed and who we were looking for. Some days were better than others. This particular day there were reports that the insurgency wanted to capture an American.

“Bullshit!” a soldier shouted out.

Subtle laughter came across the group of men. The lieutenant broke in and reminded everyone to keep their grenade battle ready. They all knew what that meant.

“Those fuckers aren’t taking me alive!” A very southern voice roared out waving his 9mm in the air.

SFC Goslin reminded everyone about what others had went through on that day. The men’s faces look intense and they all listened as SFC Goslin read the details of a very dangerous mission they would have to perform later that day, along with the regular operations order for their daily mission. That day they would have to go into the center of town and try to capture a target package. What made this mission more dangerous was that it was during the day versus using the cover of darkness to acquire targets. The man they wanted was only passing through town. This all coming from intelligence that can be hit or miss at times.

SFC Goslin finished up and asked if there were any questions. These guys have been doing this for so long that it was like clockwork. They all knew the dangers and they all knew their roles. This was just another day outside the wire.

“Then if there is no questions, see you all back for SP.” SFC Goslin said about the start point. This is when soldiers would actually move out to conduct their mission.

0725

*The sound of rap music, rock, country blaring from the barracks area*

Each soldier has a way to get himself ramped up before a mission. Going outside the wire is unforgiving in these parts. These soldiers know that each time they leave the pseudo comforts of the ‘wire’ that they might not come back. So the soldiers each prime their minds with music. At times like these, no one is really complaining about a certain song or genre of music. They are each attuned and focused on their own thing.


0740

“Hey fucker, you get water for the truck?” SFC Smith asks his gunner.

The gunner, SPC Rondolan was a short muscular kid from Illinois. Peeks down from the turret and tells SFC Smith that it’s all in the hatch.

“I’ve taught you well Rondo!” Smith says with a smile.

“Yeah I’ve taught your wife a few things too!” Rondolan smirks and says out loud.

SFC Smith grabs SPC Rondolan by the leg and playfully punches him sending Rondolan across the truck.

“Oh man what did Rondo do now?” says SGT Guss.

Sgt. Guss is the driver for SFC Smith. With a Masters in Business he somehow decided to join the Army as an enlisted man and become an Infantryman. He told his team one long night in sector that he was there on 9/11 and watch as the towers fell. He said that he wanted to be as close to the enemy as possible and watch each one fall like the towers did that day. No one could blame the guy for picking the shittiest job in the Army. It was the best job to ensure killing the enemy and that is what he wanted.

0750

“Blue 6 this is Blue 1, we are redcon 1, red direct.” Smith called his LT to let him know that he was ready to roll.

“Blue 1 this is Blue 6, roger, out.” Lieutenant Chase said in response. The LT once an enlisted man he fought in the first gulf and was on his 2nd OIF rotation. No one really knew his complete back story but this guy had cold steel eyes. His tactical judgment was impeccable. He was a tactical genius in a lot of soldier’s eyes. However his tact with his superiors was somewhat questionable. The LT sometimes joked that he probably would make Captain and would eventually be forced out of the Army. Some people would say that kept coming back to the war because he knew the Army would eventually force him out. It was rumored he had been the recipient of a Silver Star but refused it because for the same action his soldiers got a lesser award.

0755

On queue as usual the vehicles roared towards the gate. While on the move they loaded their crew serve weapons such as machine guns, grenade launchers and their personal weapons being M4’s, M16’s and 9mm’s. The sound of bolts being released and links hitting the ground from the turret above. SFC Smith spit into his bottle to get rid of the built of tobacco lodged in his lip.

“Ok boys, same shit, different day!” Smith announces.

“Hey Sarge, you saying the prayer today?” Rondo says looking down from the turret.

“Fuck that shit, I’m not religious, god isn’t going to save me here, it will be you on that gun!” Smith says.

SFC Smith didn’t really mean all that he said but kept his religious beliefs to himself. He just thought it was ridiculous praying. He had seen so much in this war and it was either by his own gun or someone else’s that enabled him to come back in the wire after each mission. He believed more in the fact that his destiny was already set. If it was intended for him to die here then so be it. However, SFC Smith was too damn stubborn to allow that.

0800
The soldiers of this crew roll out the gate and prepare for what will become a very long day.

Welcome to the real suck!


American Soldier says,

Where does one begin to recoup from a war? So many people say that by going to a counselor and talking about it that you will be ok.

“It’s going to take time.”

I cannot put it all into words. I am having trouble with normalcy. I try very hard to occupy myself. Heck I even got myself a few hobbies now. However, I feel out of place. I have flashbacks and can’t sleep at night. When I finally get to sleep I am immersed in a nightmare. The memory’s of the environment that nearly killed me more than once haunts me now that I am home and safe. The nights are the worst for me. I am alone and who can I really talk to when its 2am and I’m wide awake? I mean I could wake my wife up but it’s not fair to her if I did this every night. So I just waste away afraid to go to sleep.

What in the hell did I do to deserve this? I nearly died for my country and I’m left to endure this post traumatic stress disorder. I am stronger than this but I cannot defeat it, there is not operation order for this.

Some of the things that suck are as simple as leaving my house. Why? I feel like I might get blown apart from an incoming mortar round. All stemming from when I was in Iraq and the constant incoming we would receive. Going to take a shower was dangerous. And yes, people did get killed while taking showers from incoming.

I wrote the following song not long after I got there. It was written just after a mission and while we were receiving incoming. I found out later that someone was killed after the barrage. This was for my wife.

As I sit to write this letter

I just settled in from a day of missions
I lay my weapon down and incoming comes in
The distinguished sound of the thud
That one was to close to call
I take off my gear and sit on down
I pick up my pen to write you a letter

As I sit to write this
The incoming is all around
The outgoing begins its barrage
Oh the distinguished sound of our counter fire

I wish I could hold you close
You are my inspiration, you keep me going
Any moment that incoming could be closer than before
I close my eyes and think of the sound of your voice
Rather than the boom that just landed near

As I sit to write this
The incoming is all around
The outgoing continues its barrage
Oh the distinguished sound of our counter fire

Now the order for us to go is given
I put my gear back on and grab my weapon
Everyone gives that look of reassurance
I get in my vehicle and its another day in this war

All this as I sit and write this letter
No different than before
Except this letter that I intended
Just ends with a little more

© American Soldier 2006

I am 7000 miles away from the war and I have fears of something that will not happen. My mind seems to think otherwise. I keep looking for that IED on the side of the road. I hear noises and I get the rush of adrenaline. Crowded areas get me anxious and I can’t be close to people. I don’t want people to come near me. I know that if I get angry that I might kick it up a notch so I avoid ALL conflicts as much as possible.

All of this a result of doing what I did for our country. I wish I could just forget it all but that would be a disservice to all that I served with and lost while there. Now for once, I am feeling a bit defeated. I am nearing a rough and hard point in this process.

I want to write about all that happened but I just don’t know how to formulate the words. How can I begin to describe it? Time will only tell and that is the kicker, time is all I got.

Images from PicassoMio

Emails to me


American Soldier says,

If you have tried to email me via my contacts page in the last month or so, well it’s been broken. It is fixed now so no I wasn’t ignoring you all, I just was never getting the emails.

AS